Conquering Momma Charity
Updated: Jan 15
Hey, I’m Charity and I want to be better than I am. I feel like most of us want to be the best version of ourselves and have trouble figuring out the path to get there. While cliché, this is certainly one of those times where the journey is as important as the end state. That’s what the team at Conquering Momma is trying to do, find our individual paths and help you find yours. Whether we can grow and learn on the same path or adjacent paths, it’s always better with friends.
So, who am I? Oh, conquering mommas, that feels like a loaded question. I am a wife, mother, sister, and daughter, but it turns out the one thing that I have been trying to find and hold onto is who I am outside of those roles. I am a woman who loves family and friends and being connected to the world around me. I love that feeling of making a random connection with a stranger, even when it is just a kind word at the checkout line.
I grew up in a small town in Colorado. My high school consisted of about 400 students in the entire school, one small grocery store, and little prospects. I loved my small-town high school experience, but I wanted to get out of the county, state, and country. I went to Colorado State University to become a Biologist. And I did it. Night after night of studying, some recreation volleyball, and carpools to church on Sundays; I did it.
I met a boy there, one I loved, but we were just not ready to settle down. My wings were not ready to stick to Colorado. I made it out of the county and now I needed out of the state. We parted ways as I went to Madison, WI for my first job. I worked at a job in my field, which unfortunately is harder than it should be these days. But back to that boy I left in CO, he eventually became a man, a Marine even. We found our way back together and moved to San Diego, CA. We started our family with a beautiful baby girl, and I continued to progress my career.
Now remember those wings that did not want to be clipped, they spread again, and we found ourselves in Japan. It was an amazing experience for the family in every facet...except my career. That career which I left my family and loved ones in Colorado for. The one I spent four years and late nights working for. It was more difficult to stay in my field overseas. The battle of my life and identity as a woman versus a mother or wife began.
As we moved back to the states this battle would begin to take over my life. I took time off to be with the kids and the family and do not regret it. It saddens me to think of where my career would be had I kept engaged the whole time. I see my husband progressing and it’s great for him and our family, but I want that too. It’s feels unfair, but I refuse to be swallowed by the what could have been and want to move forward into what I am meant to do now.
Conquering momma is inspired by a deep desire to make the world a better place and for women to know that they are not alone in their struggles in life and are worthy of love without earning it, a concept that I still struggle with. Over the years I felt so alone, so ashamed that being a stay-at-home mom wasn't my passion. While I am beyond thankful for each moment that I have had with my family denying my need to have an identity as an individual has had consequences. I fell into depression and anger. It has taken years to understand the “why” behind feeling like there is a piece of me that is missing.
After the depression set in, the loss of my self-worth decided to show up and boy was that a kick in the pants. I am slowly trying to build back the confidence of my former self and refuse to give up! To me conquering momma means that you are not alone, you are fierce, brave, and can do what you set your mind to. It is a place that lets you share your struggles and hopefully feel inspired to be the best version of yourself. I don’t want women to think they are alone like I did. I want to be the village that we so desperately need.